I was originally going to do a weekly recap post, though I honestly have nothing to recap this week. I never touched a book, the only posts that went up were already written and scheduled until I screamed into the void yesterday. I have barely moved from one spot.

I don’t know what my blogging future is right now. I don’t know what my future in general is right now. At the moment, I don’t know anything. I’m basically just trying to get through each day as it comes. But this cycle of a week of productivity followed by three weeks of deep depression is wearing on me. I’ve been thinking about suicide. A lot.

I don’t feel capable of working right now, which really contributes to my inability to find a job. But I can’t support myself with no income. And mom has been on my case about finding a job again because she has to pay for her own food now (she’s on a fixed income and doesn’t get enough to cover mortgage, bills and food, it’s why I moved in with her after dad died). I can’t talk to her about my mental health issues though. I tried once and she told me to never talk about them again.

Honestly, I don’t even know why I’m writing this, except to say blogging could be very sparse and sporadic for a while. I have a couple of reviews scheduled, but can’t guarantee anything else going up for the rest of this month. We’ll just have to see what happens.

And I’m 52 today, so happy birthday to me.