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Still Angry

I used to have a policy that I didn’t discuss politics on the blog and that I kept it a conflict-free zone. But I’m angry, and every day seems to bring a new hit. I feel like this country has been regressing back to the 1920’s over the last few years. Every time we make progress, those in power- straight, white men- find some way to take it away.

My philosophy has always been to believe that most people are good and that those who are not are in the minority, but I have having a harder and harder time of convincing myself of this. Especially in my own home. The evidence to the contrary seems to be overwhelming. Did you know that the county I live in is trying to leave Oregon and become part of Idaho? Because this conservative county is so opposed to “liberal Portland” “controlling” our state government.

Right now I feel powerless, and I feel furious.

And it’s not just Roe v. Wade, it’s not just the laws banning gender-affirming care, it’s not just Black Lives Matter… it goes back further than that. It’s the hypocrisy of the elected officials who are supposed to serve the people but are more concerned about lining their own pockets and protecting their own interests. It’s a society that tears apart victims of sexual assault and is more concerned about the harm to a rapists swimming career than the woman whose life he ruined. It’s a mayor refusing to sign a proclamation naming June PRIDE Month because it will cause “more problems.” It’s all of this and more. So much more.

It’s knowing that when push comes to shove, I’m on my own, because my family and I are on opposites sides of this war.

And it feels like a war.

And it’s only going to get worse before it can ever get better.

And I’m afraid.

I’m angry. I want to scream. I want to fight.

But I’m also scared. I don’t feel safe.