Now that we are a couple of months into the year, I figure it’s time to look at how I am doing on this healing journey so far. I’m not doing anything really intentional, just being observant of where I am and making some small adjustments based on what I find.

I have been starting some healthier habits, like daily stretching, journaling, using the stairs more frequently, etc. These are all helping both my physical and my mental health. I have also found that creating a morning routine is helping to set the right rhythm to my day.

There haven’t been any epiphanies or major breakthroughs, just slow, steady progress so far. And that’s a good thing, I think. But not everything has been smooth sailing. I’m struggling right now because of my work situation, as well as other things, and I know that I am sliding into depression again.

My mother recently came up to me and told me that she feels I’m not living up to my potential and that I am just wasting my time. Any conversation where I share my truth with her devolves into anger, blame and tears, so I didn’t really respond. She doesn’t understand how completely I was broken by both being fired and the reasoning behind it, and any attempts to explain it to her have left me feeling worse.

I bring this up, because I don’t see my potential. And I’m still afraid of working with a group of people that I have to put my trust in and be vulnerable again. I’m trying to move forward and to trust myself and other people again, but it’s not easy and I can’t just “get over it,” as much as I would like to. Having to find another new job in all of this is so hard.

So yeah, I’ve taken a lot of positive steps to try to rebuild my sense of self-worth, but there is so much more work to be done this year.