I’m going to be honest, when I was putting together my posting schedule for this month, I figured this was pretty much just a throw away topic and that I wouldn’t have a lot to say about the end of my 40’s. I mean, the 40’s are kind of a blah decade right? But then as I was sitting down to write this post and started thinking about everything that’s happened in the last 10 years, I realized that my 40’s were life-changing. This past decade was the most impactful, soul-defining era of my life. And I’m really going to miss it.

After having lived in southern California for the first 39.75 years of my life, I spent my entire 40’s living in the Pacific Northwest, splitting my time between Washington and Oregon. That alone should have warned me that this was going to be a transitional decade of my life. For the first time I was exposed to a new state with new laws, traditions, people, and for the first half of the decade, I didn’t live anywhere near my family for the first time in my life. A whole new world opened up to me. Since that time, I have been reunited with my family as they all moved to the PNW as well, but those years spent alone are what truly made the difference in my life.

Rather than chronologically go through the past 10 years, I decided to showcase some of the amazing things that I have tried, learned, lost, found, left, survived, and embraced in my 40’s.

Tried

1. I tried a new career as a pharmacy technician and it was not for me.
2. I tried so many new foods and new types of food that I love (and some that I don’t).
3. I tried writing a healthy living/ weight-loss blog, and it lasted for 3 years
4. I tried working at McDonald’s (and lasted less than 2 weeks)
5. I tried to deliver groceries, but I just didn’t enjoy it
6. I tried reading new genres, authors and age-targeted books
7. I tried to mend strained friendships

Learned

1. I learned that I just am not cut out for working in a call center.
2. I learned that I am happiest when I am giving back to my community
3. I learned that it’s ok to ask for and accept help from people
4. I learned that I am a really great admin
5. I learned that it’s ok to take a chance on dreams you think are out of reach
6. I learned that I have everything I need
7. I learned that I am so much stronger than I ever knew

Lost

1. I lost my dad… and that was really hard
2. I lost some friends… we just drifted apart
3. I lost my sense of self… for a little while at least, but I got it back
4. I lost my confidence… but found it again
5. I lost my need to fit in and formed my own opinions
6. I lost my car, but found ways to keep moving
7. I lost my beloved Disney kitty… and still miss her every day.

Found

1. I found my passion in life
2. I found an amazing community of friends I have never actually met
3. I found my dream job that keeps getting better
4. I found myself and what really makes me tick
5. I found new hobbies and traditions
6. I found some incredible friends in real life too
7. I found my Cheshire kitty

Left

1. I left my negative self-talk behind (for the most part)
2. I left the desire to fix myself… I don’t need fixing
3. I left some toxic jobs
4. I left a toxic living situation
5. I left behind expectations of starting  family
6. I left embarrassment in most social situations behind
7. I left a lot of fear

Survived

1. I survived jobs I hated and a terrible boss
2. I survived a bad stretch with my depression and countless anxiety attacks
3. I survived homelessness and living in my car for 9 months
4. I survived moving in with my family again (not related to #3)
5. I survived my own grief, and my mom’s
6. I survived 488 days without significant time alone to recharge my batteries (and counting)
7. I survived multiple blog crashes

Embraced

1. I embraced my sexuality and came out as Bi to trusted people and communities
2. I embraced my voice and use it to speak out on issues I support
3. I embraced my desire to give back and pay it forward
4. I embraced who I am and what I love
5. I embraced an anonymous social media presence
6. I embraced an openness to new things
7. I embraced a future full of possibilities

Looking back over everything here, I am truly amazed at the experiences I’ve had in my 40’s and can only wonder what my 50’s have in store. I’m blown away at everything that’s happened, and this list truly doesn’t do any of it justice. Before I say my final farewell to this decade, I want to mention one last thing, and that’s what I refused to do in my 40’s:

Refused

1. I refused to give up!