I have never been one who can let things go, at least not things that I’ve done. I can forgive people who have hurt me and move past those types of things, but mistakes that I’ve made, myself… never. Seriously, I still frequently relive events from as far back as elementary school where I messed up.

Of course the one event that sticks in my mind most from that time period resulted in me being humiliated in front of half my school by a teacher, so it was also traumatic as well. But then there’s also a small mistake that happened in middle school that I relive all the time, and it wasn’t even something that I got in trouble for or that other people knew about. But I still carry it with me. Over time, more and more things have been added to the events that tear me down, but I still keep carrying them all. And everything that happened with my former job has just been added to the pile, holding me down.

How to people let these things go? How do they carry on with life without things like this eating them alive from the inside? I wish I knew. I wish that I could just set these things down and never pick them up again, but no matter how many different things I’ve tried, nothing works and it’s all still there. Things may ease up for a while to where I don’t think about any of them… but they always come back.