I deleted my Facebook and Messenger this week, and since I have no idea what my password was and no longer have the email address or phone number that were linked with it, it’s gone. My feed was almost 100% ads anyway, so it’s not like I’m missing much.

I haven’t deleted Twitter or Instagram yet, but those are my anonymous accounts that no one actually follows, so it doesn’t really matter too much. Twitter is on it’s way out anyway, it’s really a hellscape over there now… all of the careful curation I did to make my feed a nice place has been blown up by everything the idiot in charge has done to screw with the site. And I haven’t joined Threads because I’m not all that fond of Meta and their data mining, so I’ll probably just end up leaving social media altogether soon.

Of course this will further isolate me, which will make my depression quite happy, it prefers the isolation. It will become even more pronounced when I no longer have this blog… because really no one reads this anyway, and do I really think I’ll be working again before March when my site renews? Hell, will I even still be alive by that point with no money to buy food and my emergency food stores starting to run low?

I spent my entire week comfort watching GBBO on Netflix, trying to get through the Disney movies I haven’t watched on Disney+, and doomscrolling Twitter. That is literally it. I didn’t pick up a book, I didn’t write any posts (until this one), didn’t clean anything, nothing but streaming and Twitter.

Netflix and Disney are my last 2 streaming services, and they will be up in a week or so. My phone service ends next week, so I signed up for a Google Voice number so I have something to give prospective employers… I’ll just have to wait for messages and then web-call them. You know, if anyone were to actually call.

We also have a lovely heat advisory this weekend, with triple digit temps and no air conditioning, so that just makes everything so much better.

And my birthday is tomorrow, so that’s awesome. I am not exactly filled with hope and excitement for the next year of my life.

If anyone actually reads this post, I’m sorry. I know that I am a mess and that losing what I thought was my dream job (especially in the manner that it happened) has left me broken. I just really needed to scream into the void so that maybe I can release some of the pent up pressure and start to dig out of this black hole.