I haven’t been naming my posts the last few days, just putting the date in the title spot. I think part of that is that I just haven’t had the energy to come up with a title. Hopefully I’ll start giving titles again soon.

Things are still getting marginally better. I even “meditated” for a little while. I put that in quotes because I don’t know that I am actually meditating right, and at the moment it’s just sitting quietly while my brain continues to do its chaotic flashes while I try to focus on breathing.

In addition to meditating, I also did the laundry (which is huge) and read some more. And I’m doing my best to not stress over the other things that need to be done still. I made a list and told myself I only need to do one thing per day. If I do more great, if I don’t, no big deal. And if I can only get part of a task done for the day, that’s ok too because it’s progress at least.

I mentioned yesterday, I think, that I’ve been dealing with this my entire life. It wasn’t until my teens (16-19) that I really started to take note and provide a definition of what I thought was wrong. In my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with chronic depression. I’m 52 now, so the ebbs and flows are not new. But this time around has been the most extreme in a long time… and that even counts the period where I was living in my car.

Onward and upwards (mostly) from here, though. That’s the plan at least.