I figure let’s purge all of the negatives and get them out of the way so that we can start to focus on the positives. This week I’m going to follow up fear and time with pain. And it may seem like these are just whiney posts, but I do feel like they are cathartic and helping me to really work through everything that I have been dealing with.

So there are two types of pain- physical and emotional, we all know that. I have been dealing with both of them over the last month and half. The physical pain has been around for months… probably more like years. If I’m completely honest, the same can be said of the emotional pain, due to my depression, but it had been so much better for a while there. Not now, though.

So physically, I’m getting older and have to expect some additional aches and pains. I’ve suffered from headaches and migraines for a long time. I had hoped that they would improve as my hormones adjusted to menopause, but so far they are still sticking around. I average at least one headache of varying severity per week, and one migraine per month right now. I used to get two migraines per month, so that’s an improvement, but other headaches were infrequent before.

In addition to headaches, I have also been having a lot of joint pain, especially in my left hip and back, and other random pain throughout my body. Most of it is due to aging, I’m sure.

The emotional pain is the depression that I feel all the time, the worthlessness that goes along with it, and the loneliness and loss from losing my job. Some days I wonder what the point is (of me looking for work, not of life in general, don’t worry).