This year has been pretty rough for me, and that will carry over into my birthday as well. I’ll be turning 52 in a couple of weeks, on the 15th. I’ve always considered my birthday to be one of my favorite days of the year. My family doesn’t really celebrate birthdays, but I always celebrated mine on my own.

For most of my adult life, I’ve bought myself gifts on my birthday and a cake. For the last couple of years I’ve taken a trip for my birthday and opened my presents in a hotel room.

But this year none of that can happen. The trip I had planned this year has been canceled. The wishlist of gifts I put together to buy for myself have gone unpurchased. I may share it if anyone wants to send something, but I don’t normally receive gifts from friends.

I’m trying to figure out ways to celebrate this year, when I can’t even buy myself a piece of cake, but I don’t know that I will.