Sometimes our dreams change because we learn and grow and find new things that we enjoy or discover a former dream no longer interests us or meets our needs. Other times, our dreams are forced to change due to circumstances beyond our control. And then there are those dreams that we decide to give up because of our principles and what we believe to be right and true.

My dreams have changed for all of these reasons throughout my life. I used to dream about being a performer, but absolutely nothing could entice me to get on a stage anymore, definitely not my thing. Another lost dream was to see Phantom of the Opera on Broadway, except now the show is closed, so the likelihood of that ever happening is pretty much gone.

I’m sad at the loss of those dreams, but I’ve accepted them. Life changes and we move one.

But there are a few of dreams whose loss has made me angry. Not necessarily the loss of the dream itself, but the reason for the loss is the source of anger, because it doesn’t have to be this way.

The first of these lost dreams was visiting a particular theme park based on a series of books and movies I once loved. That dream got tossed pretty quickly when the author revealed what a truly terrible, transphobic person they are. Regardless of the fact that I once hinged a piece of my identity on where I fit in their fandom, I have eliminated their problematic world from my life.

Another dream lost was seeing some of my favorite artists perform live on stage. But with the increase in mass shootings at public venues, it’s just not safe to attend large events anymore. My anxiety goes through the roof any time I am in a crowd anymore, so it’s not worth the risk for me.

The big one, however, the one that I never thought would change until it was completed, that’s the one that makes me the most angry. I have always dreamt of traveling this country and visiting every single state, learning about each state’s individual culture and exploring the country I call home. But there are some states that are doing some truly abhorrent things right now and I can’t in good conscious spend tourist dollars in states whose laws go against everything that is great about this country and strip away the basic human rights of large segments of the population. At first I thought, ok I’ll just skip those states for now until the legislation is corrected, but the list of no-go states just seems to be getting longer and I’m not getting any younger.

But here’s the deal… I will gladly sacrifice some dreams to defend the rights of others. My wallet and my voice are all I have, but I will use them both to support the companies and states that do the right thing… and to withhold my business from and speak out against those who don’t.