So as promised in my weekly update, I’m ready to share the story of what happened last week.

I received a phone call at the end of the day Monday from my boss telling me that they had received some very serious allegations about me and that I was being suspended, with pay, while they investigated. I was to leave immediately and not have any contact with my team.

I heard nothing on Tuesday. During this time, I later found out, they were meeting with everyone on my team. I had no idea what the allegations were at this time and my mind spun a lot of different scenarios. Sadly my scenarios did not come close.

Wednesday morning, I finally received a phone call setting up a meeting with me later in the day. At that meeting, I was asked a lot of questions that led me to believe that one of me team members who was leaving had unleashed some pretty harsh feelings about me (I had recently written this person up for their failure to do something before they tendered their resignation). This was supposed to get my side of the story, but I still wasn’t told what exactly the allegations were. I was caught so far off guard that I know my answers were completely ineffective. I was told a second meeting would be scheduled the next day for next steps.

I had hoped that they would realize that while there was a kernel of truth in some, not all, of what was said, it was blown completely out of proportion, and several of the allegations were complete fabrications. I had hoped that they would realize this person, whom I had trusted completely, was retaliating because of being held accountable.

My meeting on Thursday morning was incredibly brief. It lasted maybe 5 minutes. They said everything that was alleged was corroborated and I was terminated. I am not sure how the false allegations were corroborated, but somehow they were. Arrangements were made for me to pick up my personal items and drop off my keys Monday (today), so they must have trusted me enough to not go in and take whatever I wanted in the 3 1/2 days between my termination and the turnover of keys. But because I am the type of person I am, I have not gone anywhere near the office. I also sent them a comprehensive list of all of the items in the office that belong to me (there’s a lot… I worked for a nonprofit and was happy to provide needed items for the office to save the company money), with receipts for all of the high ticket items so they would know I’m not stealing.

I was also told not to contact the rest of the team, the people who have been my family for the last year and a half (or longer). If they wanted to contact me, they could, but I was not to seek a relationship with any of them unless they initiated it. Thankfully they have reached out. And they are feeling as betrayed as I do, and are terrified about their own jobs now. I hate that for them.

Mostly, though, I’m just feeling lost right now. This was the first job that I really loved. I felt like I was doing something worthwhile. I felt like my team was a family and that we all truly care for and looked out for each other. I bought gifts for their kids’ birthdays and sent care packages when COVID was going through our office. I sent baby gifts and put a lot of my own personal money and time into putting together events and activities. I planned to retire with this company, and I have 13 years left until I’m 65. I was always given the impression that I have the respect and trust of my supervisors, that they knew me and believed in me. But I guess I was very wrong about that part.

So I’m hurt and confused and not sure where I am going next. But I also know in my heart what is true and what isn’t. I may have been guilty of getting too close to my team (which I still don’t consider a bad thing), but not the bad stuff.

I’ve survived a lot in my life, and I know I’ll survive this too. I’m going to take a week, dust myself off and give my wounds a chance to heal, and move on. And I will be fine. I hope they will be too.