Happy Birthday to me! Today is my birthday. I am 55 years old. When I was a kid, this would have been retirement age. And I would have thought I was old. I’m not… and my life is nothing like what I imagined it to be.

I think, as children, we all expect our life to move linearly from one point to the next. But it doesn’t. Sometimes we jump ahead ten steps and then move back four. Other times we just skip things entirely. I mean I certainly never thought I would be in my mid-fifties and have never been married or had kids. I never thought I would be unemployed and relying on my family to survive. Or that I was planning to follow my mom when she the time comes.

And I definitely never thought that turning 55 would be a reawakening for me. That a set of seemingly random events and ideas would alter my perspective and direction and make me want to actually live again. And I especially would not have believed that it would happen when the state of the world and my country is what it is. But you can never predict things.

Yes, I’m terrified by the things that are looming on the horizon. I have no idea what I am going to do, or how I am going to meet the challenges I still have to face. But I do know that I can face them. And I want to keep going and find out what happens next for me.

There are too many good books out there for me to read, and Taylor is bound to release more music. I need to be here for all of that, at least as long as I can be.

So this is 55. This is when I start living again.